Initiating Forgiveness

Forgiveness and reconciliation. It's a topic that no matter what and in every season is applicable. It's always something we need to be working on. Which is part of what makes forgiveness of God through what Jesus did on the cross as so powerful.

The challenge this week was to fess up and take steps towards reconciliation with whomever we felt most convicted to. The person I felt God call em to walk through this process was a friend who I now see nearly every day, but hardly have a relationship with anymore. After some baggage with a past relationship, I've come to find that he and I have drifted apart quite a bit. Not something I am proud of, or really okay with... but something that has been lingering for quite a while.

I invited this friend to hang out on the porch of the house I am living in right now. We had some casual conversation and we got to catch up with each other for a bit, which was pretty nice. When I felt like the time was right, I made a few apologies for a couple different things, for the distance and tension that has been between us and I vocalized my sadness at the tension that has lingered for so long. He said that he felt the same way, apologized for his  side of the issues, and conversation drifted back into a more casual catch-up tone.

I didn't realize bringing up forgiveness and talking through it would be so such a simple, yet helpful thing. I now feel like we have the ability to dive back into the relationship that was on it's way up for so long. 

An Emptying Experience

I have always been a saver. Which means, I have always found ways to make money and keep money. It’s not so much that I feel an overwhelming need to have money. It is more so that I have a hard time spending money on little things, when I know down the road I’ll have bigger things to spend money on. It really isn’t a security blanket I’ve built for myself, it’s planning ahead; not a lack of trusting God, but being responsible with what he’s given me.

That is, until recently. Over the last few months I have made some large purchases, all of which I’ve been saving for; I bought a car, replaced my dying laptop and put money towards my education. However now that all has been said and done, my bank account is looking a little slim. Some other unexpected expenses have come my way and for the first time in over 4 years, I have less than 1,000 dollars in my bank account. And it is a crippling feeling. The saver in me has gone into lockdown mode. I have cut out unnecessary expenses, eating as cheap and as little as possible, and considered several avenues to make a little extra money on the side. Dave Ramsey has taught me well.

Somewhere along the line, I’ve forgotten that there was a time when I lived on the other side of the world and even though I didn’t have a penny to my name, I never went hungry. God provides. And over the last few months I have become stingy and self-consumed.

            I have watched my neighbors of the last few months, the ones who live behind my house. The guy who lives there I used to see at Great Harvest on a regular basis, collecting any leftover goodies to take under the bridge and hand out to the homeless. From the short interactions I have with him, I can tell he is a pretty generous man. However, after learning that he was my neighbor now, I’ve noticed how little he lives with and yet volunteers in a place where he gives so much. I have decided to give to him and his family.

            I have gone to the grocery store and bought some food items that I know won’t perish quickly, but can be a good back up for him and his family when things get tight. I bought some specialty foods and even some Lindt chocolate too, just to make it feel like even more of a treat and not just a food box from the food share. My hope is that as he wakes up tomorrow morning, he and his wife see the box and feel a huge sense of relief, that they don’t have to worry about where their food comes from for a while.